Last First Kiss
by YulianaHenderson
Summary: "Rigsby hadn't been more stressed out before. He had ran into the bullpen with Benjamin in his arms, the little man as confused as the rest of the team. Rigsby was panting, almost doubling over, and put little Ben on the edge of his desk. 'Guys, I need your help,' he said quickly." Jisbon, don't be fooled. FLUFF and a bit of Angst near the end. Probably one-shot. Rated K plus.


**A/N: I saw 5x14 and the Jisbon scenes seemed to be so natural that I'm just like, '****_are you freaking kidding me? Just stop it already okay, you're hurting me_****'. But okay, to prolong the fluffiness in that episode, I decided to write this! I know, it's terrible but okay, anyway, I hope you'll still give it a shot ^^**

**Title taken from One Direction's song.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, sadly.**

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**_'Last First Kiss'_**

Rigsby hadn't been more stressed out before. He had ran into the bullpen with Benjamin in his arms, the little man as confused as the rest of the team. Rigsby was panting, almost doubling over, and put little Ben on the edge of his desk.

"Guys, I need your help," he said quickly.

"When he cries, he either has a lack of-"

"Jane, I wasn't asking you."

Jane smiled at Rigsby, then lay down on his couch again.

Lisbon seemed to have noticed the commotion – first, Rigsby's late and then he takes his kid with him to work. As the boss, of course she had to know what was wrong.

"My old aunt Astrid needs my help, I already promised her years ago that I would go to her if she needed my help, but now I have Ben and I can't take him with me because he's a bit ill and I'm afraid that if it gets worse, it really gets worse and-"

"We get it, Rigs," Lisbon interrupted. All adults were quiet, while Ben was moving to get off the desk. When Rigsby didn't pay attention the little one turned around and slowly put his feet on the floor, but fell on his bottom because the desk was too high. He didn't seem to be hurt though. Jane smiled gently and ushered for the boy to come over to him, which he did, but not so smoothly, almost tripping on his way.

"What do you suggest we help you with?" Lisbon asked. Rigsby sighed.

"I will be back in a few days, I just need someone to look after Ben until then."

"What about Sarah?"

"She's got a case in the South, apparently it was a big one."

Lisbon sighed, and nodded. Then, she looked at Cho. He was leaning back in his chair, his hands intertwined on his abdomen. As soon as he saw Lisbon was looking at him, he shook his head.

"No, I won't take him in. I don't have room for him."

"Who says we do?"

Cho gave her a pointed glare. "You have an two-bedroom-apartment."

Lisbon groaned, and Jane chuckled.

"Naww, come on, Lisbon, what can be so wrong about this? Now you get to spend some time with someone that has the right to be a pain in the ass since he doesn't know it's not right to act that way."

She rolled her eyes. "You're damn right about that."

They were quiet again, the only sounds audible in the bullpen the little coos Ben let out. They looked at him, content with the way he was relaxing in Jane's arms.

"Why don't you take him?" Lisbon asked Jane. He looked up at her, his index finger in Ben's tiny hands, and she immediately averted her eyes. Even though he was glad to be happy for the little man, it still hurt to see this beautiful man was here, and not Jane's beautiful daughter.

"Fine, I'll look after him."

Rigsby smiled, and almost moved in to hug his boss, but she moved in to punch him in the nose. He awkwardly retreated, then ran over to his son and placed a kiss on the top of his head.

"I promise I will call if I'm on my way back," Rigsby said, and Cho and Lisbon nodded. The man hurried out of the bullpen, to leave a silent team.

So no Van Pelt, and no Rigsby. Was the rest of the team even able to perform properly now?

Lisbon groaned. "I'll go ask LaRoche if we can get a week off."

Accompanied with the rolling off her eyes, it apparently formed a hilarious sight since Ben started chuckling. Then, when Lisbon walked away, the boy's chuckles died down, and within seconds, he was crying.

Cho looked awkwardly at the toddler, while Jane hesitated in comforting the boy. Then, he made Ben turn around and placed him against his chest, rubbing gentle circles on his back. Jane felt the boy's forehead, then sighed.

"He's got a mild fever," he determined. "He needs to get some rest."

"Would you really let her do this alone?" Cho asked, not once dropping his stern voice. Jane looked over Ben's head to look at the South-Korean man.

"Yes."

Cho didn't give it more attention.

Fact was that Cho knew why these two had been turning around each other for months, even years now. And ti wasn't like it wasn't something that was obvious – because it _was_ obvious.

Of course there was the pain with Charlotte, Cho couldn't blame Jane for being sad about that but that was in the past.

Jane was now staring at Ben, lost in some thought, probably thinking about his lost child, when Lisbon entered the bullpen.

"Get up, losers," she ordered, but both men stayed put. She rolled her eyes. "At least give me Ben, I'm out of here."

"We're dismissed?" Cho asked. Lisbon nodded.

"For today, anyway. I'll call you for tomorrow. Now go home."

As soon as Lisbon took Ben from Jane and the little fellow wrapped his arms tightly around her body, Cho saw something changing in the man's eyes. Yup, definitely obvious.

"Uhm... Lisbon? Do you need any help?"

"I raised three brothers, Jane, I can take care of this myself."

"No doubt about that, just thought I'd ask."

She rolled her eyes, and threw Ben into the air a few inches to relieve his slight weight on her hip.

"Anyway, I'm going home, so you should too."

She went into her office to get her stuff, Benjamin in the meantime was fighting sleep in her arms.

Saint Teresa had a soothing effect on basically everybody.

When she smiled at mainly Cho when she eventually left, he didn't bother looking at her but instead at Jane.

Dammit, the man was pathetic.

"Go after her, Jane."

Jane actually startled. "What?"

"I can see the way you looked at her when she took Ben in her arms. You're in love with her, but you're a coward not to admit it." He stood up and started gathering his stuff. "Everybody here is a coward."

"_I_'m not a coward."

"Are you in love with Lisbon?"

"No."

"Coward."

Jane groaned and got up, facing Cho now. "Look, you don't understand."

"No, you're right, I don't. What's holding you back? Why can't you just give in for once? Your family won't hate you."

"Cho-"

"Jane, I've known Lisbon longer than you have. She had her heart broken too many times that she won't even bother with protecting it anymore. She thinks it's just part of life, that no one can love her like she loves people. I know I'm not a good person to give dating advice but I'm just telling you, don't break her heart or I'll break your neck. Pushing her away from you will only make her heartache worse, it won't protect her from anything."

"Cho..."

"Just embrace this moment, Jane. Ben might not be your child, but that doesn't matter for him and it shouldn't either for you. Just have a good time, for God's sake."

Jane shook his head, and fell back into the couch. "I can't."

"Your call." With that, Cho walked away, leaving Jane all on his own.

Cho sighed. One day, these two would hook up, and even though he didn't know for sure if that day was today, he could always hope.

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane really didn't know where the tears were coming from. He did know though that for the first time since his life had ended, he wasn't crying over his lost family, but over his fierce team-leader, Teresa Lisbon.

Cho had made him realize what he was missing out on. What a terrible, horrible coward he actually was. Since when was he afraid of approaching someone he was in love with? He hadn't been so shy in his teens.

He knew since when, though. Since Red John had taken away the seemingly only woman he had ever been so much in love with.

He'd known in that moment that he wouldn't fall in love again.

But his heart thought differently, it seemed.

Seeing her with Ben in her arms... it had triggered longings, dreams, inside him, that he hadn't known he'd had before. She was so good with children, he wanted to see more of that, preferably every day. For the rest of his sorry life.

He sighed, and wiped his tears away.

He knew what he wanted, but he was so afraid. He really was a coward, Cho was right. He rubbed his chest, trying to get rid of the ache.

It fit what he was feeling deep inside him though.

He was aching for her, wanted to make her his, wanted to hold her, fill her up with life – both figuratively as well as literally.

He sighed, then got up. Where did the determined Patrick Jane go, that fought for what he wanted? He would fight for her, dammit, because he _wanted_ her. Wanted her like he hadn't wanted anyone in a decade.

He would fight, if it was the last thing he did in his life.

-YulianaHenderson-

Ben wasn't comfortable in her apartment, she could see it. He was past the age where it genuinely didn't matter where he was, as long as there were toys and loveable people around. She had put him in the living room, on the floor, and had started frantically searching all her closets in search for something for him to play with. She had kept a few things from her brothers, like some of their clothes, but unfortunately they hadn't been even close to toddlers – the youngest had been eight.

She didn't have toddler toys, and she could already hear Ben screaming from the living room, lacking attention.

She sighed frustratingly. How did Rigsby do this again?

"Bennie, shh, it's okay, I'm looking for toys, okay?"

He didn't quiet down, instead just starting crying. She ran into her kitchen and pulled open drawers. She found a wooden spoon she hadn't used that much, and since she was in dire need to keep the little boy entertained, just ran into the living room and gave it to him. He stopped crying, looked at her, then at the spoon and started chuckling.

"That's it," she whispered, and let out a sigh of relief. She made sure he didn't suffocate himself in the 'toy', then went into the guest room to look if she could change some things so it fit a one-year-old. It didn't seem to be possible though. She really hadn't thought this through.

She moved the against the wall, and after groaning again, pushed a low closet against the other side of the bed again. She didn't know that much about little children, but she did know that they could roll out of bed and that wasn't what she wanted happening.

She stopped her movements when she heard sounds from the living room – and other sounds than Ben's soft cooing.

When she was able to move, she ran to the living room, only to see a big blur of blue fabric and blonde hair.

"Dammit!" she exclaimed, and Jane almost dropped the boy he was holding.

"Hey, Teresa, didn't mean to startle you."

"Dammit, Jane!" she said, not exclaiming anymore. She had feared something bad had happened, but this was actually worse. She walked over to him and took over Ben, who didn't really care in whose arms he was. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought I said that I didn't need help."

"I know you did, but I thought I'd drop by anyway."

"Why?" she asked incredulously.

"Ben was playing with a wooden spoon, he could get splinters from that. You don't have any baby food or anything remotely close, believe me, I checked. I don't suppose you have a bassinet he can sleep in, you don't have-"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" she interrupted, looking at him wide-eyed. "Jerk. It's not like I chose to do this."

"No, I know, Teresa, but you're doing fine so far. You just don't have the right... tools to take care of a baby."

"Oh, and you do?"

He smiled brightly, and she rolled her eyes. She should've known he would say yes.

"I took the liberty to visit some shops on my way to your apartment." He stepped aside, and she almost slapped his arm. There was a foldaway bassinet/bed, some fresh vegetables, and even a few toys – a plastic, colorful car, a play-phone, and a... Lisbon didn't really know what that last thing was. It was still in the carton box.

She looked at Jane, who just smiled smugly.

"It cost an arm and a leg, but it's worth it. It's good for his sensory skills, his gross motor skills as well as his fine motor skills-"

"Jane, you do know Rigsby will only be gone for a week max?"

He shrugged. "So? We can always give all of this to him when he comes back. Or maybe..." Then, he went quiet. So uncharacteristically quiet.

"Maybe what, Jane?"

"Never mind."

She looked at him, he had averted his eyes, then went to unpack the box. He took out all the segments and put them down on the floor. When the entire box was empty, he lifted his hand and showed it to her.

"This is what it's supposed to become. Give me half an hour, I will have it finished."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, good luck with that then. I'll make food for Ben."

He was already focused on putting all the segments together, but just before she walked into her kitchen, his voice stopped her again.

"Mashed potatoes, milk and a grain of pepper."

"Excuse me?"

He didn't turn to look at her, but tried fitting one piece into the other.

"That's what Ben likes."

"How would you know?"

Now, he did turn towards her, his 1000-watt smile on his lips. "Teresa dear, while you're locking yourself away in your office, I actually have to suffer hearing all these stories about what Ben's going through. He's allergic for bananas, and he doesn't like onions. Of course he'd rather eat everything that Rigsby doesn't heat up but-"

"Jane, seriously. I didn't agree with you coming here and helping me, I don't need your help, but I allow it since you bought a few stuff that Ben needed. But if you're going to be like this for a whole week, trust me, I'll kick your ass so hard."

He chuckled. "I'm sorry, Teresa, I was merely trying to help."

She rolled her eyes. "Just put that thing together."

She returned ten minutes later, having finished making Ben's dinner, and saw Jane was now staring at the toy. What he had bought was now completed, and he lifted his hand and put a bright red ball on the top of the baby-version rollercoaster. His head followed the ball until it ended at the bottom, and he almost reached out to pick it up, when she gently put Ben next to him, who was instantly fascinated by the bright colors.

Jane didn't turn though. She sat down at the other side of him, put the plate on the table behind them and placed a gentle hand on his back.

Now she had a clear view of his face, and her heart broke.

"I was going to buy something like this for Charlotte... she had been asking me for it ever since she could talk. I never got her one, I didn't think it would add anything to what she could learn in daily life. I was greedy... and now my little girl never got what she wanted."

"Jane... Patrick... Do you... think she hated you for it?"

He shrugged, and a small tear escaped his beautiful sea-green eyes.

"She didn't hate me. She couldn't hate people. She was like a beautiful little angel on earth. _My_ beautiful little angel..." He lowered his head. Looked at his lap for a few long seconds, then took in a deep breath. He got up on all fours, sat down on the couch and picked up Ben.

Lisbon sighed. She knew he was going to avoid talks like this, but she hadn't expected that tear. She hadn't expected him to talk to her about... about Charlotte.

She handed him Ben's plate, but remained on the floor, studying the toy Jane had put together.

It was a bright, colorful kind of rollercoaster, especially what you would expect toddlers to have.

She picked up a ball and did the same thing Jane had done moments before. When the ball reached the end, she smiled softly.

She didn't know why, but this made her happy. Something so easy, so simplistic, could put a smile on her face. Imagining what kind of fun kids would have with this, they could be playing for hours and hours, just watching as that ball reaches the end.

She sighed, and her shoulders slumped a bit.

"I bought it for Ben but you can play with it too," Jane said. She rolled her eyes, but when she looked at him, she had to swallow. His eyes were full of emotion, an emotion she hadn't seen that much but had actually seen mere moments ago.

A form of sadness, but not for his dead family. He wrapped his arm gently around Ben and squeezed. The little boy, who had just been about to plead for a bite of the deliciously prepared food, stopped his movements and looked up at the blonde.

Jane looked down and got tears in his eyes again.

Lisbon'd had enough of it and kneeled down in front of him, quickly giving Ben the last bite there was on the plate, then put it aside.

"Jane, talk to me," she said softly. He shook his head and pulled Ben closer, who now reached out to touch Lisbon's face. She grabbed the little man's hand and rubbed her thumb over the top of it. Jane shook his head, and looked at his lap that was for the better part occupied by the toddler.

"I'm good with kids... I really am... but they all... they all remind me of what I don't have any more. What I used to have but what I lost. And what I can't have now, because I always was and always will be a coward."

"Jane, Charlotte-"

"This isn't just about her, Teresa," he interrupted softly. He reached up and brushed a strand out of her hair. "I... I love you, Teresa. I love you so much. But I'm a coward. I've loved you for so many years now, but because of him... I was afraid something would happen to you, that if we would be together, that he would take you away from me, because I won't be able to survive that. It would be my death."

She looked at him, at the small, sinful tears that streamed down his cheeks. She reached up and wiped them away. She kept quiet, letting him finish what he had started, wondering where he was going. She was fighting her own tears too.

"But I know it's stupid to do now. By pushing you away, I'm only hurting you. I gave you the feeling like I didn't care about you, like you were just some prop to me I use to get closer to Red John – like I use Lorelei. Fact is, Teresa, you're the only thing that matters in my life. I stopped to live for Red John long ago. Just seeing you, your beautiful face, your perfect smile, it keeps me alive. It makes me feel whole again. You are what gets me through the day, not Lorelei, not Red John, not my revenge, _you_."

He brushed her cheek, and did the same thing she had done – wiped her tears away. She stopped fighting them then, and together with Jane's hand, she felt Ben's hand on her cheek too.

"I love you, Teresa. And I'm sorry, for everything I did to hurt you. You really didn't deserve that, all the bad words and all the pushing away. I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Patrick... Patrick, I know. I love you too."

He gently put his hand under her chin, pulling her closer, and he linked their lips, in a soft and sweet kiss. She ran a hand through his hair.

She was the one pulling away when she felt Benjamin pulling on her hair. She smiled, first at Jane, then at the little boy.

"I'm sorry, Teresa, if this is a ridiculous question, but... but will you carry my child? Just... just one, that's enough. I love you, I want to have a baby with you, so badly, I-"

"Patrick, it's not a silly question. No question is silly, only the one in which you ask if I love you, because you know I do. Yes, I would, Patrick. I would carry your child. I would love to even."

His smile was blinding and she almost choked on a helpless little sob. He was perfect, and he loved her. That was all she wanted at the end of the day.

That he would love her the way she loved him.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Hey man, how's it going?"

Cho studied Jane and Lisbon in her office, talking about nothing important, but they were practically glowing. For one reason or another, that made him smile, and it felt strange on his face but it was good.

"Our plan worked."

There was a plan at the other side of the phone, then Cho heard a soft chuckle. "I suppose I'd have to give my 'Aunt Astrid' a big hug then, don't I?"

Cho watched as Lisbon carefully looked around to see if anyone was watching her, and as though Cho didn't exist, like she hadn't seen him staring at them, she pulled Jane in for a deep, passionate kiss. They pulled away, and she smiled at him, then walked over to the blinds and shut them, along with the door.

Cho got up from his desk, his cell phone still to his ear. He sat down at the conference table at the very back of the bullpen, and angled his body just that way by which you could actually look through the blinds.

Jane was sitting on the couch, and Lisbon sat in his lap, straddling his hips, kissing him again. His hands were practically everywhere on her body, and she rolled her hips against his.

"Tell 'Aunt Astrid' that she owes me ten bucks."

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**A/N: I hope I was able to make you realize that 'Aunt Astrid' was Van Pelt, lol. I'm terrible at subtle things like this.**

**But wasn't this just pure fluff? I think it was. Maybe I'll write a few shorter ones where you get to see how Jane and Lisbon handle Benjamin, but that's been done countless of times before with their child and not someone else's so if no one wants me to write that, I won't even think about it, lol.**

**I hoped you enjoyed this! I will see if I can update The Great Mr. Jane tomorrow. At least before the weekend, I promise!**


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